Premier Wab Kinew held an emergency press conference this afternoon to announce the entire province was now under a Yellow Snow Advisory. “Don’t eat it. Don’t touch it. Don’t go anywhere near it,” ...

NOT SATIRE. I searched the Epstein Files. For real. This is not satire. Please note, of course, that there are millions upon millions of files and none of the findings here suggest any wrongdoing.

Millions of Americans were visibly upset this weekend after they had to sit through the Super Bowl’s first ever all-Plautdietsch halftime show. “Nobody understood a word of it,” said President Donald ...

Despite a more than $75 million bribe paid to the local farm implements dealership to host the film, the new documentary about my Taunte Lina has proven to be a huge flop. “We thought for sure we ...

World-renowned climber Alex Honnold has just accomplished the greatest feat of his career—free soloing the credit union building in Steinbach. “No one ever thought it could be done,” said climbing ...

After rolling out a test run at primary schools in Miami, Florida this week, the White House announced plans to provide every school in the country with a dairy cow and a Mennonite milk maid. “The ...

According to a recent Statistics Canada estimate, the City of Winnipeg now has a population of just over 850,000 Friesens. “And growing,” said mayor Scott Gillingham, one of just three individuals in ...

Area woman Susie Driedger, 73, was delighted to receive a gently used Nobel Peace Prize this week, which she plans to shred into pieces and use as a Brillo pad. “It has hardly a scratch on it,” said ...

Producers of the hit TV romance Heated Rivalry have already announced a change for season two–rather than a romance between two hockey players, the next season will feature two of Manitoba’s top ...

Moments after tickets for the upcoming Heintje concert went on sale at the Canada Life Centre, all the worst seats were gone. “You’ve got to be quick on the draw if you want to get your hands on those ...

After fierce competition all week, Steinbach mayor Earl Funk came home with gold medal in the Grand Slam of Butchering this week. “His farmer sausages in the 8th end were what really did it,” said ...

The federal government was shocked and dismayed with the results after more than $1.2 billion were spent to buyback guns in Mennonite country, with very little success. “After months of the Mennonite ...