NOT SATIRE. I searched the Epstein Files. For real. This is not satire. Please note, of course, that there are millions upon millions of files and none of the findings here suggest any wrongdoing.

Premier Wab Kinew held an emergency press conference this afternoon to announce the entire province was now under a Yellow Snow Advisory. “Don’t eat it. Don’t touch it. Don’t go anywhere near it,” ...

After a series of highly popular rule changes this week, the Canadian Football League has unveiled a brand new logo modelled after Cracker Barrel. “We know how well that worked for them,” said league ...

In the small town of Herbert, Saskatchewan, there was no bigger news this week than the engagement of local librarian Taylor Friesen and lentil farmer Travis Friesen. “Everyone’s posting about the ...

Area man Jeremy Goerzen, 41, slowed way down on Highway 2 near Balzac this week as he saw what he believed was a cop approaching in the distance. “Oh, jeez, better ease off the gas there a bit, eh, ...

Producers of the hit TV romance Heated Rivalry have already announced a change for season two–rather than a romance between two hockey players, the next season will feature two of Manitoba’s top ...

Jets fans are super excited to pack downtown Winnipeg this week for the annual First Round Exit Party. “It’s such an amazing atmosphere,” said Jets superfan Sam Fehr. “We all get together, wear white, ...

An innocent civilian in some other country is super grateful to all the foreign powers who decided the best way to bring about his freedom was to rain down missiles onto his neighbourhood. “When I ...

It may have been temporarily paused for now, but this week the White House announced a 87% reciprocal tariff on all penguins, including hockey superstar Sydney Crosby. “Yeah, well I guess this is what ...

Influential author Philip Yantsied resigned his position this week after his moral failings were revealed. The news hit hard particularly in the Mennonite communities. “I’m saddened by the news, but ...

Southern Manitoba’s most popular shopping centre in Gretna, Manitoba has gone to extreme lengths to get rid of the teens who’ve been loitering in the parking lot this spring. To address this problem, ...

Thanks, everyone, for a great year. I have some exciting (real) news in the coming weeks so stay tuned. In the meantime, here is some fake news for you. Here are the top 10 most read Unger Review ...